So, I don’t dare to ask anybody to help me at all because of that, because they’re not in sync with me. They have just one goal: “Oh, talk to Master – my God! It’s a rare opportunity. Must talk now or never!” What for you have to talk? I know you love me. I know you are thankful. I know everything already. […] You think it’s so nice to be a Master, always sitting on a high chair and everybody goggles, and you talk endlessly with your calendar. No, it’s not like that. There are things behind that I have to worry about.
I want to ask her one question. Yesterday I was feeding the ducks, and she was also crying. I don’t know why. Everything happy, she cries. She was there already, because I took her back so that she could help me to take off the clothes as well. It was quicker than me fumbling all over myself, not being used to it. And then I also wanted to give that set of clothes to the Seoul Center. Of course, I could give them to many other (meditation) Centers, but Seoul is the capital. So if anyone wants to see it, they can go there. And I wanted to give them that to remind them of the one-year anniversary of Korea’s peace [agreement], so I wanted her to come with me so I could give her the clothes. But before that, I just put on a bathrobe quickly, and then I went out and fed the ducks. And she followed me outside. The ducks and the fish were outside. I said, “Today we celebrate. You also should celebrate. I gave them bread,” the chop-chop bread, all ready. The kitchen [team], they always prepare some toast, like square bread but wholemeal bread, and they chop it very small, like finger dots, for me. So when I went there, I took the bag, and then I threw it for them. The fish and the ducks ate together.
It may not be their food, but they love it so much. Hundreds of fish, jumping all over whenever I go out, and they eat together. And then she was crying too. It’s not a sad occasion, is it? Korean Peace is not a sad occasion, and my giving Seoul clothes is not sad! She cried! And I feed the ducks – nothing to do with Korea – also crying. Why? Ask her why! The fish were happy. The ducks were happy. They were eating like a big festival. Why was she crying? And now she can’t speak. So, whenever I have a happy occasion, I don’t dare take her anymore. I was worried, I said, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Something wrong?” And she couldn’t speak either. So up to now, I still don’t know why she cried. Maybe she didn’t like the fish? Or the ducks? What then?
(No, I was moved by the way Master sets an example – quietly, even in the face of such adverse circumstances, and I know how much Master has sacrificed for me. So I have to say thank You and apologize, but I didn’t know whether it was right to express it at that time or if I should wait.) (She knows how hard You tried for the event, how much effort You put into the event, and she knows how much You sacrificed for her. So, she didn’t know how to express her feelings or if she should wait to express her feelings. So she was just crying there.) What did I do for her? She helped me. Why did she say “sacrificed for her?” I didn’t sacrifice for you. I just needed you to help me to wear the difficult dress. I didn’t sacrifice for you, sorry about that. Wrong impression!
Anyway, you don’t know. The Korean dress looked beautiful, right? But it’s very difficult to wear. You must wear it correctly; otherwise, it will look funny, or you could not wear it at all. But once it’s on, it really looks regal. And they can wear this in a different style, different way, but still looks Korean. People still recognize it is a Korean dress, for sure. They will not mistake it for a Chinese dress or Aulacese (Vietnamese) dress or Japanese dress, or any other dress. Very unique! Even if they make a different style or a different way to wear it, it’s still the same – Korean. Yesterday, many different styles of Korean dress. Still, you know it is Korean dress. (Yes.)
I like it. It’s just you need a maid too. You need somebody around to help you so that... You cannot fold it yourself. You have to fold it properly; otherwise, it becomes creased up. You have to hang it well; otherwise, you cannot wear it. And after wearing it, you have to know how to wash it. I don’t know what kind of machine is suitable for that, but it’s truly... it’s something! It’s for royalty only. I can’t afford it every day. Luckily, I’m not in Korea; otherwise, I’d have to often wear that, and I’d have to sacrifice for another person like her, and then see crying all the time. Don’t cry anymore! You must be happy!
My God! I was in a hurry because she told me, she warned me in advance, it takes half an hour at least to put on that beautiful dress – half an hour, mind you! How long does it take to put your clothes on? Five minutes, right? This – five minutes, max, men, also women. Today I don’t know who’s a man, who’s a woman. They wear similar, all jeans and T-shirts. So, five minutes or 10 the maximum, right? Half an hour to put on the Korean outfit – so you can understand how complicated it is. And if I were alone, it would take half a day at least, if I could even manage! Luckily, the Seoul people knew it. They said, “Master, in case You need it.” Of course, I needed it, not “in case,” or out of case! I could never manage it; no one could. Maybe the Koreans, they have a trick, I don’t know, but I’ve not used it.
And I was in a hurry already, of course. Before that, I had to sign papers and check many documents, and I was concentrating on doing that. And luckily, I put the alarm on. “Oh my God, got to go! Oh, at least half an hour to wear the dress and then some make up. Oh my God! I’ve got to run.” I was thinking as usual because when you work every day, you just think of usual things, but yesterday was different. I was thinking, “After I finish my paperwork, which is a lot, I’m going to reward myself with the waiting breakfast.” But I said, “No, no, you have to go. My God, you can’t!” And I ran over there.
And then she worried too much about many things. I asked her to come, and she came, fine. And then, instead of concentrating on helping me to wear, she said, “Master, I’m thanking You for...” I don’t remember, this and that. I said, “Oh, please don’t. Just do the job. Just help me to wear the dress. I don’t have time. You can thank me later.” But she [went] on and on. And then she explained to me also the history of how to wear the dress and all that stuff. I said, “Oh later, later. Please. Just put it on first.” That’s how much I had to sacrifice.
This is a problem also, that I could not have help-people to help me. The ones around me, they don’t know anything for a special occasion. My helpers only can feed the dog-people. Maybe sometimes they help me with bringing heavy things into my place because I cannot do it alone, for example like that. But if they help me to wear a Korean dress, then I think we both will be lost, and the performance will never take place. But if I ask somebody like, for example, your sister there – never been so close to me, never helped me with anything – then they begin with the history of their life. My God, I was thinking, “Please forget that I am a Master. I just need you to put the dress on. Not now.” But I was also worried in my heart that if I said to her like that, I refused her advice and her history, she’d probably feel hurt. And endless stories.
So, I don’t dare to ask anybody to help me at all because of that, because they’re not in sync with me. They have just one goal: “Oh, talk to Master – my God! It’s a rare opportunity. Must talk now or never!” What for you have to talk? I know you love me. I know you are thankful. I know everything already. If you need to, write a letter in advance and give it to me and I’ll read it later – so I know you love me, I know you are thankful, I know this and that and other and all the story of your life. I had no time, man. Didn’t you see that? Even on such an occasion, any kid, five years old, would see that I was in a hurry and under time pressure and all kinds of pressure. But you had no idea, did you?
You think it’s so nice to be a Master, always sitting on a high chair and everybody goggles, and you talk endlessly with your calendar. No, it’s not like that. There are things behind that I have to worry about. For the event to take place yesterday, for everybody to enjoy peace and happiness like that, not only I had to work hard behind the scenes. Many of your brothers and sisters in Taiwan (Formosa) had to close their restaurants to come here to take care of the kitchen or the service. (Yes.) They had to take a day off, extra off, to come here and be extra bodyguards, extra guards for the house, for the mountain, because our place is very big. And these people, they were so scared. They made me scared, too. Something might happen. So, we had to take precautions because prevention is always better than cure. So might as well do it.
So, many people sacrificed. They had to take a day off. It’s not that easy to just say like that, “I want to take a day off next week, or [in the] next few days.” Some people have important jobs in society, not just housewives. Even housewives have difficulty. If you have children and suddenly they are sick, you can’t quit. You just have to be there for the child. Many things happen in life all the time. It’s not always like here, so peaceful and discussing things. You have to wake up. Consider others, not just yourself all the time. I don’t need you to tell me that you are very happy and honored and privileged to put on the dress for me. I know that already, and even if I don’t know that, so what? What is so important? I was in a hurry, so I could make it on time yesterday. But if I’d sat there and let her finish her story, then I wouldn’t see you. If I’m so polite and soft and gentle and say, “Oh yeah? Uh-huh… Mm-hmm… Ah, wow! OK! Bravo!” then how do you think I’d do my job? So, if I ever offend you in that kind of situation, please just forgive me outright and shut up.
The best thing for you to do for me when you are next to me, helping me with something, is just: zip. One word: zip. I don’t need you to thank me or tell me that you are privileged and honored to help me to put on my shoes. My God! What the heck is all that? Just now and then, you help an old, helpless woman put on her shoes. What’s so big deal about it? Is it so big a deal? If you see people on the street outside – maybe her dress is coming down for some reason, or her shoes are falling off because she’s an old woman – then wouldn’t you help her? (Yes.) Yes! The same! I’m an old woman; I need a little help. If you keep doing this, I won’t dare to ask anybody. That’s why I don’t have any help.
And also, whenever any of the people come to work in my house – like repairing something – or anywhere, or my cave even… So little, so primitive as my cave, I even need people to go there sometimes. And it’s not ending there. But I always have to run away so they don’t give the story of their life and all this appreciation, with a plaque maybe, for the privilege of repairing my floor, for example. I always run away whenever they work. I have to tell them what, what, what, what, and then I run. But because of that, sometimes they do things they’re not supposed to do.