OK, now! Let’s have some jokes. It’s some Aulacese (Vietnamese) jokes. […] Now, there was a Master, so-called Master. I don’t know, maybe a Supreme Master even. He was very virtuous, supposed to be, and also very clean, very pure, like you cannot offer anything to the Master, for example, otherwise, your ID card will be confiscated! […] So now, this Guru has a wife and kids and all that, and He is very famous for being very pure and incorruptible, very pure. So, one day, some of the people in the political arena, they came. […]
OK, now! Let’s have some jokes. It’s some Aulacese (Vietnamese) jokes. Alright. Sometimes I have to read all this and modify them, to suit your taste and to suit the occasion. Now, there was a Master, so-called Master. I don’t know, maybe a Supreme Master even. He was very virtuous, supposed to be, and also very clean, very pure, like you cannot offer anything to the Master, for example, otherwise, your ID card will be confiscated! Do you know that or not? (Yes.) Yes or no? (Yes.) Oh, that’s more like it. Are you still in samadhi? Then I just quit. (No.) Yes or no? (No.) OK, I hope you use your mouth when it’s needed, and use your ears when necessary.
Now, there was that kind of Master. And He happened to have a wife too and kids and all that, a very ordinary life. Many Masters have wives and kids. Do you know that? You don’t? (Yes.) Well, I have to tell you, I have a lot of “kids” but no husband. That’s the only difference. So now, this Guru has a wife and kids and all that, and He is very famous for being very pure and incorruptible, very pure. So, one day, some of the people in the political arena, they came. What is that? Can you please take care of this? What’s this? Go and have a look and take it away, somebody. No, it’s down there. The roof? (Yes.) What kind of roof is that? OK. OK. OK. Now I just plug my ears. One day… Wow! I like that. I don’t know if he can do it or not, but it looks good. OK. Let’s go back to the Master.
One day, some of the politicians... You know, like in many countries, they profess democracy, and in such a democratic country, people can vote for whoever they like, for whomever they like to govern their country or their district or their state. So in His state, some of the people were going to advocate themselves for governorship in that state. So, some of the politicians came to the so-called Master’s house and tried to talk the Master into telling the disciples to vote for them, because many of the so-called Teachers or Masters, They have a lot of followers, and that makes a difference. You know, even one vote makes a difference. Do you know that? (Yes.) Is that true or not? (Yes.) I heard it. I’m not even sure, but it must be true. So anyhow, so they came and tried to woo the Master, the disciples and all that. But in order to tell the Teacher to…
But they know that the Master, so-called Master, you know, this is a so-called Supreme Master, hah! They saw many “Supreme” around, so I don’t know which one is that. Not the Hsihu one. They know that the Master cannot be talked into bribery and taking things, so they tried the wife. Normally it works! You know that very well. The wives are always the one who make a lot of arrangements for any big officers or any very great personage. And then, so they came and talked to the wife and said, “Oh, please! Help us! Just tell your husband one word. Just tell Him to do something for us and then anything else later you want, it will be taken care of.” Thanks God. I cannot pretend to you that I’m 100% concentrated while something is rattling behind me. Sometimes I can but not when I’m telling jokes. Now the joke is no more fun, because it’s just so choppy! Where were we now!? Oh God! Is it OK? It’s still fun? (Yes.) Alright.
So the people, the subordinates of the future governor came to the wife and tried to talk her into accepting something for the Master, so that the Master will tell the so-called disciples to do something for them. So anyhow the wife said, “Oh, this is very difficult. You know my husband. Oh, He’s a very clean and pure Teacher. He won’t accept this. I don’t dare to tell Him. How would I do it? He will scold me. You know many people get their ID card confiscated because they give Him some chocolate. Just one bar of chocolate, then their ID card is gone. How would I tell Him anything?” So the people said, “Wow, oh madam, you can! You know, you try. Tell us, just tell us what to do, what the Teacher needs, we will do it. Just try, at least try. We won’t blame you if it’s not successful... just try!”
So, the Teacher’s wife was just maybe infected by the husband, also very compassionate by nature, or by the teaching. So, she said, “Alright, I will try. Now I tell you there is something that will maybe work. My husband, namely the Teacher, belongs to the mouse.” According to the Chinese zodiac, He’s a mouse. “So now you go home and make a golden mouse for His birthday next week, then I will try my best.” OK, so the people were very happy. “Oh! Yes! Yes! Thank you, madam. Let’s go!” And they came home, and they went to the jewelers and made a golden mouse, exactly like a mouse, but gold, solid. She already instructed; it must be solid. Yes, this is not gold plated, things like that. “We don’t accept false things; we’re teaching the truth.”
So anyhow, the next week, all these people brought the golden mouse for the Teacher to the wife and the wife tried something to give it to the Teacher, and the Teacher asked, “Where is it from? How do you get the money to do this?” So the wife had to confess everything, saying, “Wow. These people they’re absolutely sincere. Their devotion is so overwhelming that I could not refuse. So I told them, this week is Your birthday, and Your Chinese zodiac sign is the mouse. So I told them to make a golden mouse for You. So please accept it.” So the Teacher was very frustrated and angry, raised His voice, saying, “Ah, after all these years I teach you, you don’t have any wisdom. Why did you tell them that my zodiac is a mouse? You could have told them that I belong to the buffalo.” You like that, huh? (Yes.) Yeah, so we do have some kind of practitioners and teachers. So choose which you want, OK, the mouse or the buffalo!
OK now, there’s another one. Still like it? (Yes.) OK, you look so cool and I don’t know. Are you really here? (Yes.) You with me? (Yes.) OK, it looks better now. Before, “yes,” “no”. You did eat lunch? (Yes.) Oh yes! Now it sounds like you did. Before I thought somebody cut out your portion or something. Now this is something very strange to you, since you’re all vegan, but never mind. Let’s step into the other world and see what’s going on. The world of non-[vegan].
OK, there was a person, a scholar, and he was very well educated and a very pure and good person. But he saw all around him all the corrupted court officers, all the bad people in the government and it made him feel very agitated. So one day, he tried to do something about it, because he was a scholar, very famous for being incorruptible as well as very clever. So, many of the politicians often came to his house, to visit him, even though his house was truly a very humble one, a thatch hut, just like us, something like this. Or maybe even like my house – there’s nothing inside. Well, there’s something now after I have been “howling” all day and morning. I couldn’t find my socks and all that. There’s something now, I brought my own things.
And then, they often came to him just to associate with his good reputation, so people would think that they were not bad and they had good friends. Everybody accepted him as a friend. You know, especially those politicians. They said, “Oh, I have such and such as a friend,” because by doing this, they thought they would enhance their own cleanliness, their own pure reputation. So the people will have more votes for them and that is the reason.
Now, if somebody comes around you and praises you that you’re good and all that, be careful. It might not be that you’re really good, don’t believe it. Just check up on your spiritual diary. As soon as somebody approaches you and says you’re good and pure and clean, please immediately look in the diary. OK? Look twice, and if you find nothing, then look again, OK? Wear your glasses, or use your magnifying glass, anything, just to try to keep yourself in balance, in check.
Photo Caption: The Soul Has Endless Spring. Find Yours!
