You have to know that it’s not following me physically. Whatever needs to be done has to be done. […] “Follow” is different. Follow means “Do what’s necessary to assist mankind,” because that’s what my job is. And if you follow me, you do whatever it is to assist mankind. Follow the same idea, not follow a person. So please don’t fall in love with the person. I don’t mean in the physical sense, but I mean, not the “She” that you like, with the (vegan) cakes and candies and bedtime stories, but the “She” that works for the benefit of all. Follow that “She”!
What? (I have a question for the sister from the UK.) Which one? Oh, the Portuguese. Yes. (Portuguese. What difference is it from before [Supreme Master] TV to your mind status as it is now? It may be my opinion it’s going to be more difficult around Master than it would be at [Supreme Master] TV. And what’s changed in you from... I think, was it just several months ago that you were there?) (I think it was) Yeah, several months. (four months ago, not long.) (But what has changed in four months) What’s the difference? (to enable you to go and “climb a bigger mountain” than you failed to climb before?) (Yes. OK.) The smaller mountain failed to climb, and now want to climb a bigger mountain. That’s what he means. Yeah, what will you do?
(Working at [Supreme Master] TV was a big eye-opener. I mean, it just showed me… I had no idea – things that I had to work on, and how hard people work there, and what it means to work for Master. I had no idea how hard they work there and what it really means. So, it’s almost like… It probably is still harder being with Master because Master works much harder than anybody that I ever met.) Not necessary, but it only me and my job. But you imagine staying with me would be harder work than to stay with Supreme Master TV? Is that what you mean? (I mean that it was really hard with [Supreme Master] TV, so I don’t think I will be any more shocked in terms of the workload that I saw there.) You won’t be shocked.
(When I see people here working as well, I mean disciples, even outside they have normal lives and then work really hard after. I help sometimes, but I can see that it’s not as hard as the others; the other ones I see working and taking on duties of responsibilities and things like that. So, like I said, I really know Master knows better than I do. I’m coming forward because I believe that it’s like the only way or the… I don’t know. I just feel like that, feel like… Working for Master…) (The question was… Your passion is not questioned here. It’s: What was the change in the last several months inside you?) How does it make you feel that you are ready for the next one, right?
(I think it was the feeling of … What is the word? When I saw where I failed, like...) At least you saw that you failed. (I did, I did. I saw where I failed, and I began to see... I saw where I failed, and something in me wanted to try again, and not fail again.) Why not try Supreme Master TV again? (Yes, I could try.) Why a bigger mountain? That’s what he means. (Yes. Master, because...) Because? (I think... I don’t know. Maybe because it comes back to some yearning that I always had for God, and I always thought God was so far away. And it’s like mind-blowing to me to know that I can actually be nearer to God than I ever thought I could. So I think that plays… You know, I can’t…) OK, fine.
Suppose you come to me, and I ask you to go back to Supreme Master TV again, would you? (If... if... yes, I mean...) “Yeah… Uh-um, if...” (If I was putting myself at Your feet as if I was going to live with You, and then if that’s what You would say to me, and in my heart if I’m following You, whatever You tell me… Like I did before. You told me to go to [Supreme Master] TV then because I approached You, and I said, “Anything I can do to help.”) You wanted to go, and then you couldn’t go. (But then, as I’m saying to You if You would say that to me in the same way, then I’m following You as my Master. If You would say that, yes.) OK. I hope so!
You have to know that it’s not following me physically. Whatever needs to be done has to be done. If I were following myself, you know what I’d do? I’d stay in my tent – sleep! Or meditate! I wouldn’t come here! “Follow” is different. Follow means “Do what’s necessary to assist mankind,” because that’s what my job is. And if you follow me, you do whatever it is to assist mankind. Follow the same idea, not follow a person. So please don’t fall in love with the person. I don’t mean in the physical sense, but I mean, not the “She” that you like, with the (vegan) cakes and candies and bedtime stories, but the “She” that works for the benefit of all. Follow that “She”!
So, if that “She” wants you to do this, to do that, then you do that! Because if you haven’t lived with me, you just think, “Oh, here She comes, always dressed nicely; She talks and smiles.” I have tons of work to do. Here, of course, I reserve this time just for this, apart from some small things I have to do sometimes. I have something to proofread, but I haven’t gotten a chance to do it yet because I want to have more time to concentrate on you guys. And that thing, though it is for as soon as possible, I put it off for now. I’ll do it tonight, for example like that. It has been lying there for two days already. I do what is most urgent first – not too urgent, but it’s urgent. Because I’m here with you.
(But Master, it’s just to repeat it again. I know that You know what is best, so…) But they have the right to question you, and you have to answer it. It’s not me who has to answer them. (I don’t have any problems. They can ask as much as they like.) But if you answer, happy for them, happy or not. Anything else? Any answer? You answered already. Or you want some more? (I just feel that if You wanted me to go to [Supreme Master] TV or come out, I’d do what’s best for You – whatever is best for You.) OK. Good. Next one. I mean, question. So, actually, did you change? You did change between there and now? That’s what he wants to know. You feel yourself have changed. (Yes. She didn’t answer.)
(Yes, I have. I have. I feel a big shift.) Like what? (More awareness. I mean, a shift in the sense that… It’s hard to put into words.) (You recognized what the problem was, which is fantastic, which is the starting place to go forward) (Yes. I recognized…) (but the intermissions between them.) (Yes. Because what I saw, Master, when I got there, was so much of the karma that was right into my face. I don’t know if I’m saying the right words, but like You said, it either burns it quick, or I don’t know what are the right words.) Stares at you in your face. (Yes. And it stares at you in your face. And then things I never saw – you can call it your shadow, or your ugly side – that I never dreamt to look at. And all of a sudden, I just saw I’m this too. And I’m not going to pretend I’m a good person all the time or even anytime when I can see so much darkness there. I mean, I could see this ugly side, so that really was a big shift that probably would take me many, many years to touch, maybe just with meditation alone, without doing a work like this. And then it did change me. I know it did.) OK. (But I don’t know if things changed that much, but I know it changed something.) OK. She said she just followed her desire – like she always wanted to be with me. And she cannot even answer your question. Just like that, you just have to help it.
Next. Whoever wants. I don’t think she really answered your question, but love makes one blind. That’s what they always say, and they blame it all on that. There. (OK, you’ve been with Master for days and weeks, but you haven’t seen Master, and you just have to work mundane jobs every day. You get no special attention if you do see Master. You might even get a scolding when you see Master.) Yes! (Are you still...) And the umbrella! (Yes! And with the job and the work and no attention, and not even seeing Her sometimes, are you still going to be committed to serving) Devoted. (and devoted to just being there unconditionally?) Yes, yes. She means, can you just be in my place without me being there, without any reward, without even a glance from me? Or anytime you see me, maybe scolding even! So, what would you do? (I know it would be really hard. I know it. I know that my ego would be really, really hard. I know it would complain. I know it.)
Somebody wants to help you behind there. (Master, could I share something about this?) Yes, yes, say it. (I went to [Supreme Master] TV in December, and I was so excited. I thought, “Gee, this is a wonderful miracle,” because firstly, [Supreme Master] TV was willing to accept me for such a short period of time, and I’ve been longing to be with You for so many years. And I recognize the merit in working at [Supreme Master] TV, so it was really a way to be close to You but at the same time not with You.) This illusion, huh? (Yes. And, I mean, I’ve looked at myself over the years, and I know how willing I’ve been to always work for You and do whatever it takes,) Yes, yes, yes. (so completely convinced in my mind. And I arrived at [Supreme Master] TV, and I was exhausted after a twenty-six-hour flight. I rested, had a nice Christmas party with everybody, and the next day, they put me straight away into work. And straight away, a sister asked me to do something, and immediately, my ego went into a spasm. I said yes, and instead of me being really honest and upfront and telling the sister the truth,) Yes. (I found that my mind and my ego actually managed to trick me to go along with the game. And to cut a long story short, You sent me home after like a week.) Did I? (Yes.)
I said you had to go home myself? (Well, the sister told me that You said I must go home, so I don’t really know.) I didn’t even know that you were there. (And I was really hurt but…) So, couldn’t get on well, huh? (No, I didn’t fight with anyone or have trouble, but I mean, a silly question was… A sister came up to me and asked me to change the color of my hair for [Supreme Master] TV. And in my heart, I knew: “OK, that’s perfectly fine. I can change my hair; I can cut it off, whatever. It doesn’t matter.”) Yes. (But my answer, my first reaction – and this is why I wanted to share it with the sister in front of me – my first reaction was to say, “No! I don’t want to change my hair. Why must I do that?”) Yes, yes. Understand. (My heart is so devoted to serving You, Master, but you react without even thinking that this is what’s going on with your ego or that your ego is standing in your way. And by the time you realize your ego is in the way, you’ve already said no, and you don’t want to be that instrument. So, when the sister came to me the next day and said to me, “OK, you have to go home...”)
Why? So you said yes, or you said no? Why did they ask you to go home? (The first time, I said, “No.”) Oh, OK. (And then I said – after I realized what my ego was doing – I said to her, “No, it’s fine, but please, I don’t want to be blonde.”) OK. (Because my ego was also saying, “You can’t copy Master!”) OK, so then? So you didn’t want to be blonde, but you said OK. (I said, “OK, you can change my hair. It’s fine.” But then the sister came later to me that day at 3 o’clock, literally two hours later, and said, “No, sister, your karma has caught up with you. You have to leave. Master says you must leave.” And the experience that I...) I can’t remember, really. (Yes?) Maybe I had, but I can’t remember, honestly. I can’t remember saying... I can’t remember knowing you were there. I can’t remember...
(I offered to go for a month. They wanted me to stay longer, but I couldn’t do it at the time.) So maybe because you stayed too short, they didn’t want to bother anymore. One month is nothing! (Yes.) Just enough for you to take some breakfast and take a rest, dye your hair, and then go home. (But what I learned from that experience was that we often say that we will give up everything for Master, and we’ll do everything; it doesn’t matter what. I mean, I even said it just now, as well: “I’ll sell everything, just to go to Master.” But actually, being in that position and doing it is far much harder than actually saying the words.) I understand. I don’t blame any of you. It’s fine that you recognize a little bit of your obstruction, self-obstruction. I don’t blame you! I told you time and time again: karma and ego are your worst enemies.
