And I ran so fast, as fast as I could out of that circle of disciples, with big luggage and big hair booboo, and all kinds of people. All right, I ran out. Oh, and then, “Kaboom, ka-chat, kaboom, ka-pow!” It stopped one hundred thousand times on the highway.
One, two, three, four. Four. How do you say “five” in Iranian? (Five (Panj).) Five (Panj). Oh! That's it! That's it! Four for the American, Five (Panj) for the Iranian. And this is all for Master. Eat some. (Thank You, Master.) So, I went to eat in a Thai restaurant. I went with a hotel bus, small bus. So, because it was a festival going on, so I was trying to discuss… I stepped out of the bus already, the minivan. I was trying to discuss with the driver, because he asked me if he should come back to get me or not. In the hotel, they have this service. Of course, you give a generous tip to the driver. It is not included, but you give. They all love to drive me around. Whoever drove that day, they love, always volunteer, “Me, me! Me too!” So, he was asking what time he should come back to get me. Because that day was too busy, a taxi would not be able to go in there. He had a special hotel car and the design, so he could go in to some crowded or special area. The streets are very small there. So, I said, “I don’t really know. Maybe two hours or something, I’ll finish eating.” We were talking a little bit, and the rich man, he sat next to the table, next to that street where I was talking, and he kept banging on the plastic sheet. It was summer. It was not quite summer, but they put an extra room outside with a plastic sheet, because it was not allowed to build. But inside is a building, a real restaurant, but outside the corridor, they put plastic to cover. And he kept knocking on it because the car kept the engine on. I think he just wanted to say, “Get lost.” So, I told him, “Never mind, I’ll get the taxi. I’ll go back by taxi, don’t worry.” So, I let the driver go home, because I didn’t want to talk further. Anyway, he tried to give me a phone number and whom to call. In case he was not there, I’d call whom, whatever, and then he would come and get me. So, I gave him a tip and let him go back to the hotel. And when I came in, of course, I ordered my food and ate and all that.
And then they started talking across the table to me. And he invited me to the yacht, like how I said. His girlfriend told me. They sat together. I don’t know why he had to talk through the girlfriend. Maybe it’s a man’s courtesy, men’s stuff. Otherwise, you might have trouble. Maybe discuss first with the girlfriend, whether or not I’m entitled to go on the yacht. So, she said, “He invites You to the yacht.” I said, “Oh, really! He has a restaurant? Or is there a restaurant on the yacht somewhere?” She said, “No, no. It’s his own yacht, private. He wants to invite You to his yacht.” I said, “Oh, nice! OK!” So, we made a time. And I went there and all that. The yacht harbor is very small. Monaco, it’s priceless already, and he could even park his yacht there permanently. On top of that, he had a car parked right in front of his yacht. The street on the harbor between the yacht is precious already, and he could do that. So, you knew how much money he had. Never mind. It’s not our main point. I’m just trying to tell you that it’s funny. That in Monaco, everybody, whoever’s powerful and rich, is in Monaco. Even his girlfriend told me that immediately, at the start already. Because he invited me to his yacht, not her yacht of course; just maybe a girlfriend or secretary, I don’t know. At that time, I didn’t know, I didn’t care. And they were together, big table with many other friends, so I thought it was safe. I don’t doubt anybody, especially in Monaco. So, I said, “Oh, nice. OK. Where?” and all that, and he told me where. And then we got talking. I said, “Are you tourists?” I was stupid. Always stupid. At that time, I even didn’t know that people who had a yacht, how could they be tourists? So, she told me, “No, we live here. We are rich and powerful.” I said, “I reckoned so. Pardon me for questioning.” “So, he invites You to his yacht.” I said, “OK.” And then we kept talking and we shared the food and all that. So, I know them from then.
And he also had a big apartment, in one of the apartment complexes in Monaco, on the beach. Most of them are on the beach. The rich people, they live only near the beach, next to the beach. My hotel was also on the beach, except it was not mine. My room, my rented room. But of course, I dressed nicely. In Monaco, you cannot dress badly, the police will talk to you. They’ll think, “What business are you doing in our paradise?” Maybe a thief or something. In Monaco, it’s very strict. If you go with a motorcycle, they stop you ten thousand times, from one step to another, always stopping you. Even doctors, they also go by motorcycle. I know that because one of my doctors… At that time, I was very sick. At one time, not that time, maybe not that time, I was very sick. That’s why I went to that beach hotel. Because last time when I was sick, I coughed for two months long and went there. I just kept drinking juice every day and then I got cured very quickly, immediately after one week or ten days. Two months long coughing, I was exhausted, so I went there. I thought the air would be good for me. Another time, not that time. I can’t remember which time anymore; I come and go. Sometimes I came from France. I don’t necessarily stay in Monaco to go to that Monaco Thai restaurant. I can’t remember if I came from SMC or Italy somewhere. I go around all the time for different reasons. So, they said they’re not tourists and he parked. And so, the day I went to his yacht, of course, she was there too and I think maybe a couple of friends, or not, I forget. But the yachts, they are packed with each other, it’s safe anyway. You are amongst the yachts and the people all the time. It’s a harbor. That busy. So, I saw his, I saw the car, an Excalibur car. They don’t make them anymore.
I bought one when I was in America, just to drive around, because I like the design so much and it’s so cheap. It was secondhand, but it was only 1,000 miles or something, because the owner was an old man; he didn’t drive too much. Not even 1,000 miles, some hundreds of miles. So, it was very cheap. So, I bought it and drove it, but it was very bumpy; it was like driving a horse. Oh, my God! It looked beautiful, but it was like a Corvette. It was like a sports car; it was not very comfortable. So, even a Porsche and all that, they’re not comfortable because the seats are so low. I didn’t own any Porsche, but I was driven in one, an acquaintance or a friend’s Porsche, and my God, it hurts your bum so much, especially if they go on highways, high speed. They love this car, because it’s like a sports car. And they can drive fast, because the seat is very low and the car is also low, so they can go fast, fast. But the seat is so hard, not even like upholstered or anything. Why do they like this kind of car?
And also, there’s another car, they induced me to buy. I dressed so nice or something, or I looked rich, I don’t know. I didn’t wear any jewelry or anything. I just dressed like anybody. For example, this is just a normal dress. There’s nothing posh about it. Just a summer dress, a long dress, but you said I look good. Fine, I understand, I believe you, but it’s nothing special. I bought it in a Hong Kong open market. The flea markets? And this is just a scarf, that SM Clothes just cut it and then sewed the four sides and then it becomes a scarf. Nothing really special. So, I dressed normal and they thought I was rich. They kept telling me to buy these big cars, those more expensive cars... like what? I forgot the name. I don’t use it often, that’s why. Oh, tell me. You, the men should know. (Rolls Royce.) Rolls Royce is one. (Bentley.) Bentley is another. Italian… (Maserati.) And what else? (Lamborghini.) Lamborghini! Yeah. Oh man! I said, “I don’t want this car. I don’t drive very well. I just want some simple one.” But I liked the design because I didn’t see that anywhere before. I have never seen it, so I thought, “Whoa, it’s nice.” I’m a designer; this ticked me, so I ticked it. And then I wanted it, and then they kept inviting me to buy other cars, forcing me to sit. “Just sit. Sit on it, have a feel of it, and then tell me.” Typical salesmen. I said, “I don’t want to sit! I just want to buy this car and go home to my dogs.” “Oh, just sit, man. One minute, half a minute, it costs You nothing.” Kept saying, so I had to sit in one car, and then they moved me to another car to sit, and Lamborghini, whatever! Oh, it was so low. And I’m already very short. I sat in the car; I saw nothing! If you don’t believe me, you sit in a Lamborghini, you will have a feel of it. I said, “I feel nothing! I see nothing! How am I going to even drive this thing?” And they said, “You have a cushion.” Oh, no, no! I said, “No, it’s OK. Please don’t make trouble for yourself. I don’t fancy this car.” Very difficult to move myself from an immobile car. They just sat me there, and closed the door, and just stood outside, kept talking to me with a half open window. I could not even escape! I’m telling you, these salesmen, they are really special. So, I bought that secondhand Excalibur. They are a collection. I didn’t know much about “collection” or “not collection,” nothing. I know zero about cars. I just liked that car. And it was cheap, available, quick. So, I bought it. Anyway, afterward, I felt like driving this car was more difficult than buying it.
And then it stopped right in the middle of the highway the first time I drove home. Oh, my God, it was a scare. Lucky there were no cars at that time. So, I was trying so hard to inch my way into the grass area and blink the warning light crazily. I was worried the truck, or any that drove only long trucks... You know in America, they have long, big trucks, and when they drive, they don’t care about anything. They have lights everywhere. You should see them, but they don’t see you. They blink lights all over the body of the car. You know that? (Yes.) On the tail, and the head, and along both sides, so people have to see them. But I wonder if they even see any people? They’re so big, and so tall, and so massive. I was so scared. I was all alone. I didn’t have any boy or anything, no muscle around to help me, nothing. Or to wave the flag, saying, “Stop!” or “Pay attention to the kaput car!” The reason I didn’t know was because there’s a clock to measure the fuel and it said full! But it didn’t have any, maybe only a quarter or something. I drove onto the highway and then it just stopped, right in the middle of it. Oh man! OK, I’m still here, so you know it was OK, but for me, it was really a scare, especially for a best-top-world-driver like myself. Terrible! Already, new car, lousy driver, and stopped on the highway! Imagine? Imagine if it’s you. No, don’t have to. You know it.
There’s another time of scare of my life because in Slovenia, I also drove the stick shift first time ever in my life, with the two-second instruction from some of the rental guys, because he was busy. He might have had to go home, his daughter’s birthday, could not talk anymore. Pay and take it, or not! That was the only car available! And all the disciples from all the directions coming towards me already. At that time, I could not go with anybody; it had to be alone. So, I ran with the car. I wanted to run, but the car didn’t really want to run too much. I tried so hard. And then finally, the car started and everybody came shouting, “Master! We have a car here for You. Come! Come with us!” That’s the thing I didn’t want. Everybody was shouting. And I ran so fast, as fast as I could out of that circle of disciples, with big luggage and big hair booboo, and all kinds of people. All right, I ran out. Oh, and then, “Kaboom, ka-chat, kaboom, ka-pow!” It stopped one hundred thousand times on the highway. Anytime! Anytime I put my foot on the wrong pedal, or had to stop because of, I don’t know, whatever red light or green light, then it stopped altogether. And I had to try very hard to figure out how to start it again. Oh my God. And it did start! And I did go to a hotel, the nearest possible I saw. I said, “That’s it, no more!” And I called the man standing in front, “Please come! Drive my car in your… Please, quickly!” He said, “You drive in here.” I said, “No, you drive!” I was outside of the driveway, shouting at the top of my lungs, “You come out here! Drive my car!” He was helpless. He didn’t know what was going on, why he had to go out on the driveway. He’s a doorman, he should stay there, open the door only, expecting tips. That’s all his job is. Why he had to go out and drive my car? Why I’m there already in the driver’s seat and I had to shout at him, tell him to go out? I said, “Please come out!” And then I kept waving like a lunatic, and he finally understood (in Italian) or he was curious, he came out and had a look, “What’s wrong with this lady?” So, he came out and I said, “Please, I am exhausted. I’m worried I might bump into your plants or your beautiful flowers around here. Please drive it. I’m very tired.” So, he said, “OK, OK, OK, Ma’am, You go in. I’ll take You in and I’ll drive Your car in for You.” So, he saw my face, so desperate; no need to explain anymore. And he helped me, almost like carrying me like a baby – held my hands, my arms, both arms, and then almost like carrying me, because I was like dragging myself. After all the nerve-racking on the highway and stopping one hundred thousand times, what do you think I would look like? And then finally, I went in the reception area, I just flopped down there. And then he understood. And then he went out, took all my luggage inside, helped me to fill in the form, everything. He was probably thinking I was dying somehow. Are you crying? Why? (I’m just too happy.) You’re so happy? (No, I’m…) I almost died over there in Slovenia and you are happy? I was dying on the highway almost, on American highway, and you’re happy? Thank you! What good disciples are for? Never mind. I’m just joking. You cry as much as you want. I cried enough already; I don’t cry anymore now.
I risked my life so many times. I went alone, all the way, on the European tour. All alone, carrying luggage, and heavy, up the steps, and everything, alone. I could have taken a lot of people or even people on the road, meeting in the airport and all that. I could not; I just didn’t want to see anyone. But luckily, everything was OK. I put on these flashing lights, emergency lights. No exits! Emergency light, (Hazard.) all the way. (Hazard light.) Hazard light, blinking both sides. And the front light, back light, whatever light I could turn on, I turned them all on. Everybody passing me and “Hallo?” I said, “Yeah, hallo!” “Please, I’m sorry! Sorry, sorry!” I kept saying “sorry” all the time to all the cars that passed me. “Sorry, sorry!” And then they were all laughing and smiling, very sympathetically or something, I don’t know. I had no chance to even look closer. I just said “Sorry, sorry” and then I ran with the car.
Why did I talk about that? OK. Excalibur. So that’s the first time or second time I risked myself on the “unknown car.” The Excalibur, I bought it. So, it’s in America. I sold it already anyway. But it was so beautiful; it was the most beautiful Excalibur. Because there are many Excaliburs, but it was not that one. That one was like a light cream outside, and inside, a darker cream seat. Everything was just so perfect – very light, not showy but extremely making a statement. I loved it so much. And there are other Excaliburs, but sometimes they mix-match, like in front is black, behind is brown, or in the middle is blue or white, whatever. It doesn’t look smooth to your eyes. I just liked that one. I saw many afterwards – not that many, because they have maybe only 200 cars of that type and then they did not make any more for some reason. I did not research. My car was about the 30th car, a collection, meaning rare item, like antique stuff for collectors, not like a common car for sale. So, I saw some of them before. They were also Excalibur, same style, but because the colors didn’t match well. It’s not artistic looking, and not so sleek, and not so elegant. Oh, I loved that car so much.
